1. |
Start
03:53
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I’ll settle down to dust and cold
There’s no such thing as “good as gold”
Every crease is meant to fold
At least that’s what I’ve been told
In my mind, all is bright
The car will stop, the dog won’t bite
I am trying to keep this together
I am trying not to come apart
I am trying to get out of my head
I used to think that I was smart
But then I went and missed the mark
Broken’s a good place to start
Only way out is through the dark
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2. |
Wavering
04:23
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I’m graying, defenseless
Anything to stop this
So restless, so anxious
I’m quiet, can’t fake it
Ungrateful, I’m stupid
A child, I am useless
I’m afraid, I’m down
Falling for wherever’s the ground
I need to stop pretending
That this is never-ending
Want my time to mean something
Long after I am nothing
Postpone it, this Christmas
Sentiments donated
I cannot escape this
I’m restless and voided
Why can’t I stop pretending
That this is never-ending?
Soon we’ll give up the sickness
That we’re tired of facing
It’s getting later everyday
So I come to you
The feelings don’t go away
But you do
And I can’t breathe
When tongue meets teeth
Erase this doubt
Grow up, grow out
It’s getting later everyday
So I come to you
The feelings don’t go away
But you do
I don’t have words to write them down
So I came to you
Something about a happy sound
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3. |
Sour Tastes
05:07
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Famous last words at the dinner table
Resurrect low feelings of past exchanges
Leaning forward to tell what to do, what you don't
Point the finger to say that you won't
You won't ever be free from the world that creates you
Creating's a drag, a nag that berates you
Your wounds self-inflicted, your head under clouds
You surrender when you should be screaming out loud
Oh I'd give a bit just to put my arms all around you now
Oh I'd give a bit just to live without you, I don't know how
Oh I'd give a bit just to let this go 'til my final bow
Oh I'd give a bit just to put my arms all around you now
Any young thing would be lucky to have me
I am good, I am fine, should be no hesitating
We tiptoe around it, expect something more
Shrug it off 'til we're dead on the floor
It's not fair to be this, but this is what I am
I'm a man, I'm alive, but I'm plagued by the fear
Let it fill up my head so it's hard to be here
Getting out is a joke, so I pour one more beer
Oh I'd give a bit just to put my arms all around you now
Oh I'd give a bit just to live without you, I don't know how
Oh I'd give a bit just to let this go 'til my final bow
Oh I'd give a bit just to put my arms all around you now
Daddy brings me lemon pie
I've known how I am gonna die
One hundred times already
Before my mind would not allow
I've often thought about it, how
The future feels unsteady
My memory cannot erase
The subtle stabs, the sour tastes
The torment I can't break free
So I'm careful with the road I'm on
And on and on, and on and on
I know I'll never break free
Could I be as bad as he?
Oh I'd give a bit just to put my arms all around you now
Oh I'd give a bit just to live without you, I don't know how
Oh I'd give a bit just to let this go 'til my final bow
Oh I'd give a bit just to put my arms all around you now
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4. |
Withered
03:24
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The morning sun reveals its face
And I hide mine so it can take its place
Live my life full of regret
Cause I thought you were my best bet
Getting sick and tired of being alone
Of dragging around my withered bones
Thought you would be there on the phone
But I guess this face has to be my own
So I’m giving up and giving out
Like a watered lung I hold my doubt
So much to lose, and I have not
Everyday I’m learning to be forgot
Pick me up, tire me out
You’re the only one I think about
Cause you left me buried in the ground
Hoping desperately to be found
Getting sick and tired of being alone
Of dragging around my withered bones
Thought you would be there on the phone
But I guess this face has to be my own
So I’m giving up and giving out
Like a watered lung I hold my doubt
So much to lose, and I have not
Everyday I’m learning to be forgot
And I am an organ this stubborn body will forsake
So I will stare at the wall and question my fate
And I don’t care if it’s late or without tact
Everyday I am lessening the impact
Giving up, giving out
A watered lung I hold my doubt
So much to lose, and I have not
Everyday I’m learning to be forgot
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5. |
Float Ahead
01:22
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Take your hats off when indoors
Wear a raincoat when it pours
Eat what’s good for you most often
You are no one til you’re someone
In my mind all is bright
The car will stop, the dog won’t bite
I am trying to get by
Doing well is just a lie
At an age without control
So my body tells my soul
With the lights on, I am sleepless
With the lights on, I am torn
Between where I used to be
And the one who inhabits me
I have died a million times
I am someone
I was meant to
Float ahead
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6. |
This is an Act
03:47
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Send me to bed
Leave the shakes in my head
I know, I know that you’re not losing
Taking my hands
From my side
Swelling over with heart
Face is flushed red
Turning darker and still
You won’t, won’t let up
If this is the best I can do
Then I guess this is love
You are a dead ringer
For every millionth face displaced in public transit
In a room full of bated landsharks
You are the only thing that kills me
Feels like I’m playing it over when it’s never happened
When I’m alone, you’re there with me, you break through the static
And when you touch me it’s knowing that skin upon skin makes the heart die fondly
Is this an act of desire or an act of love?
I’ll be the one left to hold you close in the night
Entwined in the bedsheets, all comfortable, everything alright, ‘cause
You are a dead ringer
For every millionth face displaced in public transit
In a room full of bated landsharks
You are the only thing
You are an image, an idea, an anticipation
A being to leave me with all complications
I’m sleepless, I’m silent, paralysis breaks me
Don’t dare close my eyes because that’s when you take me whole
You take me whole
You take me
All of the things that I do, I do them for you
Part of me feels like it is up to you
And if I let myself think, I’m thinking of you
All of this can’t add up to me and you
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7. |
Houdini
05:48
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Shoulder, left, right
Spin the wheel, left, right
Get out, get out and you'll be fine
And this means nothing to me
I want to live and be free
Don't want to be two steps back
I've got a million things to do
Running through, through, through it all
And I don't know where I begin
Where I am going's wearing thin
All I want to do is take a 30 minute nap
Who cares if 30 years pass me by?
It's just another Saturday
It's just another Saturday
It's a new day
Gotta get out and play
Gotta work towards something that's outside your brain
Going forward's okay
But remember, "Shoulder, left, right"
Get out, be fine, you've got time
You could be anything if you really wanted to
You hit yourself, you've hurt yourself
You're blood and bruises through and through
Even if you find a way
To free yourself from all this pain
You'd still be stuck with you
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
(We're all ears, we're all ears, we're all ears, we're all)
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
(We're all ears, we're all ears, we're all ears, we're all)
We await your great escape
We await your great escape
(We're all ears, we're all ears, we're all ears, we're all)
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8. |
Unraveling
04:25
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Here lying in the basement, unaware
Not feeling it, day’s not there
Tomorrow will be better if it doesn’t get wet
I said,
Tomorrow will be better if I don’t regret
The little things from galaxies ago
Should have hit him back when he threw me in the snow
The past is not past, it doesn’t let go
This house is always vacant, went to hell
No universe, can’t you tell?
Spent twenty-odd years between air and stale glass
Oh shit
Spent twenty-odd years and already passed
The little things from galaxies ago
Should have hit him back when he threw me in the snow
The past is not past, it doesn’t let go
The past is not past, it won’t let me grow
Shaky sidewalks wind my memory lane
Screaming silently alone in the back of my brain
Who’s doing this?
Who’s knocking down the door?
Who’s leaving these years all splintered on the floor?
A crooked darling
Less pleasure than pain
And it seems my dream’s unraveling
Sometimes it feels like I’m losing my goddamn mind
These breadcrumbs and fragments are yours to find
Here lying in the basement
This house is always vacant
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9. |
Skeletons
03:25
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You’re not telling her, you can’t do it
You’re too small, you’re not a real man
Ring ‘round rosie, trip fall over
Bruises broken, scabs unfocused
You are nothing, it will take you
Drag you down and desecrate you
You are nothing, that is humble
I’m so fucked up, why’d you fumble?
There are skeletons in my closet
In my closet, every night
Bodies waiting, bones are breaking
Meat that rots where there’s no light
Wordless darkness, cold and heartless
All about, it’s all about
There are skeletons in my closet
Dig me out, can’t dig me out
I am forward to the future
Waiting for something to last
Broke my bruises, I am a wounded,
Body-less shaping of the past
I am nothing, I am vacant
Numb and cold and hollowed out
I am nothing, this is futile
Dig me out, can’t dig me out
There are skeletons in my closet
In my closet, every night
Bodies waiting, bones are breaking
Meat that rots where there’s no light
Wordless darkness, cold and heartless
All about, it’s all about
There are skeletons in my closet
Dig me out, can’t dig me out
Can’t dig me out
Can’t dig me out
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10. |
Grow Up, Grow Out
01:36
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If you don’t stop now this will grow
The world outside will take you below
The beds and couches, they insist
How could there be anymore to this?
And I can’t breathe
When tongue meets teeth
Erase this doubt
Grow up, grow out
Grow up, grow out
Grow up, grow out
Grow up, grow out
Grow up, grow out
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11. |
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I’m waiting to be somewhere else
I’m waiting to be somewhere else
While everyone’s content with themselves
I’m waiting to be someone else
It doesn’t matter if I’m well
A quiet home becomes my hell
It’s no surprise I’m on the shelf
I’m waiting to become myself
I’m waiting to be somewhere else
And I don’t need any of your help
Even if I’m in poor health
I’ve got to take care of myself
I was fortified in silence
Four walls to birth this blindness
From anything that’s pure and concrete
My mind is forced to deplete
And I keep emptying out to fill the pages
To free these ideas from their cages
I was welcome and I was worth it
No I was welcome ‘cause I was worthless
So I’ll be waiting here again
Though I’m more scared than I’ve ever been
If something good’s around the bend
I’d still be waiting until my end
And I know I’ve been so angry
And I know I don’t have an answer
And I know you could be better for me
And I hate you, though I love you
I can’t name you, I’m above you and I’m tired of you
So I never say goodbye
I’m still waiting for this to die
I never gave you a reply
Can’t even bring myself to try
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